The message
from "Harold Walker" contains these words:

I will act like a member of the oppositon and wear a nice new baseball cap
and make sure I have my fanny pack strapped around my waist to hold the UK
passport and the likes.....H

I'd strongly advise against calling it a 'fanny-pack' over he we call
them 'bum bags'. It might be misconstrued in a similar fashion to your
UKanian over yourside saying he 'needs a fag'.

--
Rusty
Open the creaking gate to make a horrid.squeak, then lower the foobar.
http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/

"Jaques d'Alltrades" wrote in message
k...
The message
from "Harold Walker" contains these words:

I will act like a member of the oppositon and wear a nice new baseball
cap
and make sure I have my fanny pack strapped around my waist to hold the
UK
passport and the likes.....H

I'd strongly advise against calling it a 'fanny-pack' over he we call
them 'bum bags'. It might be misconstrued in a similar fashion to your
UKanian over yourside saying he 'needs a fag'.

--
Rusty
Open the creaking gate to make a horrid.squeak, then lower the foobar.
http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/

Perhaps I should use my UK dictionary a little more often....have just
consulted with it and see what you mean...apologies to all that might have
misconstrued.............H

In Britain only females have a fanny.

Janet

Barrowcloth shows her ignorance again. The Senior Service used the Rum Fanny
for the issue of the Tot of Rum

It is better to look a fool, than to open ones mouth and remove all doubt

"Janet Baraclough" wrote in message
...
The message
from "Harold Walker" contains these words:

I will act like a member of the oppositon and wear a nice new baseball
cap
and make sure I have my fanny pack strapped around my waist to hold the
UK
passport and the likes.....H

In Britain only females have a fanny.

Janet

Having already been given a dozen strokes with a wet noodle I looked up in
my UK dictionary and realized my misdemeanour(just used again to check the
spelling of misdemeanor UK style)...must use more often to be fully prepared
for my UK visit...would hate to be expelled for gross indecencies......H

"Mike" wrote in message
...

In Britain only females have a fanny.

Janet

Barrowcloth shows her ignorance again. The Senior Service used the Rum
Fanny
for the issue of the Tot of Rum

It is better to look a fool, than to open ones mouth and remove all doubt

You beat me on that one me laddo.....that indeed was a very useful
Fanny....many a time did I make good use of it......pity Lady So and So had
her way in abolishing such a good morning daily 'routine'...I remember well
having my first tot in Cape Town....and of course had numerous sippers to
celebrate my birthday...so many in fact that I was put oin front of the
Officer of the Day for being absent from duty that afternoon...not fit for
flying duty....got thirty days stoppage of leave...lucky for me the carrier
sailed two days later so most of my stoppage was aboard ship....H

In article ,
Mike wrote:

Barrowcloth shows her ignorance again. The Senior Service used the Rum Fanny
for the issue of the Tot of Rum

Rum, sodomy and the lash, all in one posting. I am glad to see
that the traditions of the navy are being preserved.


Regards,
Nick Maclaren.

Barrowcloth shows her ignorance again. The Senior Service used the Rum
Fanny
for the issue of the Tot of Rum

Rum, sodomy and the lash, all in one posting. I am glad to see
that the traditions of the navy are being preserved.


Regards,
Nick Maclaren.

If the Battle of Trafalgar happened today.
Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."
Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."
Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to the signal officer. What's
the meaning of this?"
Hardy: "Sorry sir?"
Nelson (reading aloud): "England expects every person to do his duty,
regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or
disability. What gobbledygook is this?"
Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities
employer now. We had the devil's own job getting 'England' past the censors,
lest it be considered racist."
Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."
Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have been designated smoke-free working
environments."
Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the main
brace to steel the men before battle."
Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the
Government's policy on binge drinking."
Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it. Full
speed ahead."
Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this
stretch of water."
Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in
history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest,
please."
Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."
Nelson: "What?"
Hardy: "Health and safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness. And
they said that rope ladder doesn't meet regulations. They won't let anyone
up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected."
Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."
Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the fo'c'sle Admiral."
Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."
Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free
environment for the differently abled."
Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even
to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing
the disability card."
Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under-represented in the
areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."
Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."
Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let the
crew up the rigging without crash helmets. And they don't want anyone
breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"
Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men
to stand by to engage the enemy."
Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."
Nelson: "What? This is mutiny."
Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged
with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of legal aid
lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."
Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"
Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."
Nelson: "We're not?"
Hardy: "No, sir. The Frenchies and the Spanish are our European partners
now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this
stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."
Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."
Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-coordinator hear you saying
that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary."
Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy who speaks ill of your King."
Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age.
Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules."
Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy
and the lash?"
Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! . And there's a ban on
corporal punishment."
Nelson: "What about sodomy?"
Hardy: "I believe it's to be encouraged, sir."
Nelson: "In that case .kiss me, Hardy."

If only it wasn't so darn believable!

Mike wrote:
[...]
If the Battle of Trafalgar happened today.
[...tour de force snipped...]

Mike, you have just amply, if utterly irrelevantly, justified your
presence in this newsgroup, yea verily, an hundredfold. Any previous
perverted obsession with the cat is hereby forgiven. Till the next
time: don't push your luck.

-
Lobster Mike. (And we're pretty damn' tasty, too.)

The message
from (Nick Maclaren) contains these words:
In article ,
Mike wrote:

Barrowcloth shows her ignorance again. The Senior Service used the
Rum Fanny
for the issue of the Tot of Rum

Rum, sodomy and the lash, all in one posting. I am glad to see
that the traditions of the navy are being preserved.

Not to mention paederastic overtones.

--
Rusty
Open the creaking gate to make a horrid.squeak, then lower the foobar.
http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/

"Jaques d'Alltrades" wrote in message
k...
The message
from (Nick Maclaren) contains these words:
In article ,
Mike wrote:

Barrowcloth shows her ignorance again. The Senior Service used the
Rum Fanny
for the issue of the Tot of Rum

Rum, sodomy and the lash, all in one posting. I am glad to see
that the traditions of the navy are being preserved.

Not to mention paederastic overtones.

--
Rusty
Open the creaking gate to make a horrid.squeak, then lower the foobar.
http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/
Brings to mind a navy ditty which includes "********rules the navy when
there's **** ***" else to do...Senior service types no doubt will recognize
the ditty.....H

The message
from "Mike" contains these words:

In Britain only females have a fanny.

Janet

Barrowcloth shows her ignorance again. The Senior Service used the Rum Fanny
for the issue of the Tot of Rum

It is better to look a fool, than to open ones mouth and remove all doubt

Quite - and you ought to take note of that before you shoot your mouth
off. Why do you think it's called a 'fanny'?