On Sun, 08 Sep 2013 11:37:32 +0100, David Hill wrote:

I really don't know what you are blathering about.
I suspect from your reply that English is more my first language than it
is yours. "I was at Tesco" says I was at the site of their store, car
park and all, "In Tesco" says I was inside the store.

Precisely. The comment "I didn't know they let dogs into Tesco." is
not accurate when the orginal statement is "I was at Tesco ...". The
latter could be inside the store but equally outside, it is not
specific.

As for Seeing dogs, I have to assume that you are talking about dogs
that help those with impaired vision, at least you didn't refer to them
as "Blind" dogs.
In the UK we have Guide dogs for the blind,.

I sit corrected I thought they had been "rebranded" a number of years
ago.

We are both half wrong from their website "Guide Dogs is a working
name of The Guide Dogs for the Blind Association."
--
Cheers
Dave.

Are you going to 'sit corrected' about the spelling in the Subject heading?
;-)

It's a wonder none of the experts have picked it up, or have they and I have
missed it?

Mike






"Dave Liquorice" wrote in message
ll.co.uk...

On Sun, 08 Sep 2013 11:37:32 +0100, David Hill wrote:

I really don't know what you are blathering about.
I suspect from your reply that English is more my first language than it
is yours. "I was at Tesco" says I was at the site of their store, car
park and all, "In Tesco" says I was inside the store.

Precisely. The comment "I didn't know they let dogs into Tesco." is
not accurate when the orginal statement is "I was at Tesco ...". The
latter could be inside the store but equally outside, it is not
specific.

As for Seeing dogs, I have to assume that you are talking about dogs
that help those with impaired vision, at least you didn't refer to them
as "Blind" dogs.
In the UK we have Guide dogs for the blind,.

I sit corrected I thought they had been "rebranded" a number of years
ago.

We are both half wrong from their website "Guide Dogs is a working
name of The Guide Dogs for the Blind Association."
--
Cheers
Dave.

On Sun, 08 Sep 2013 12:21:29 +0200, Martin wrote:

I was also at Tesco the other day, and I saw a dog licking his
privates. I said to his owner "I wish I could do that"
The owner said "Give him one of Davids biscuits and he will let
you"

I didn't know they let dogs into Tesco.

English isn't your first langauge. "I was also at Tesco ..." not
"I
was also in Tesco ..."

Try doing the attribution/snipping correctly to avoid criticising the
wrong person

Count the 's you will see that the lines you are complaining about
have than one so are, as is normal usenet quoting convention, not
necessarily attributable to the entity at the top. They might be
though depending on how the thread and quoting has developed.

I note that you don't complain about this bit:

begin
Only into the butchery department?

Shh, back door only and at night.

Seeing dogs for the blind are probably admitted, they quite often are
where other dogs are banned.
end

So you are obviously half aware of how quoting works.

--
Cheers
Dave.

On 08/09/2013 12:40, Dave Liquorice wrote:
As for Seeing dogs, I have to assume that you are talking about dogs
that help those with impaired vision, at least you didn't refer to them
as "Blind" dogs.
In the UK we have Guide dogs for the blind,.
I sit corrected I thought they had been "rebranded" a number of years
ago.

We are both half wrong from their website "Guide Dogs is a working
name of The Guide Dogs for the Blind Association."

I was talking about "Guide dogs for the blind" as being Guide dogs for
Blind people, though they are also used by people with restricted vision
as well as Blind .
Not the training and fund raising body which is The Guide Dogs for the
Blind Association."
I worked for over 10 years as a Mobility officer for Blind and partially
sighted people, and worked with several Guide Dog instructors as well as
having had some training at their training centre at Exeter. I also had
a blind colleague who was a guide dog user as well, so I do have some
knowledge of the subject.

David Hill wrote:

I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM TESCO

Yesterday I was at my local Tesco store buying a large bag of My Dog
dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman
behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I
was starting the Dog Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t,
because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 kilograms
before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of
my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled
with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the
dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff
an Irish Setter's bottom and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Tesco..

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in
the world to think of daft things to say.

Think I first saw that one about 15 years ago!

--

"'Mike'" wrote in message
...
Another Tesco story for you

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a
young
husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance
policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging
to
have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a
nefarious,
dark-side, underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'


Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing
out
a spouse was £5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that
amount,
but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his
wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least
something up
front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single pound coin
that
rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to
accept the pound as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Tesco
store.
There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to
strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman
drew
her last breath and slumped to the floor the manager of the produce
department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to
leave
any living witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the
produce manager as well. However, unknown to Artie, the entire
proceedings
were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the
store's
security guard, who immediately called the police.
Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store.
Under
intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole
sordid
plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless
husband who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared............





(You're going to hate me for this) scroll down














'ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT TESCO!'


Lovely

Bill

"'Mike'" wrote in message
...


Are you going to 'sit corrected' about the spelling in the Subject
heading? ;-)

It's a wonder none of the experts have picked it up, or have they and I
have missed it?

Mike






"Dave Liquorice" wrote in message
ll.co.uk...

On Sun, 08 Sep 2013 11:37:32 +0100, David Hill wrote:

I really don't know what you are blathering about.
I suspect from your reply that English is more my first language than it
is yours. "I was at Tesco" says I was at the site of their store, car
park and all, "In Tesco" says I was inside the store.

Precisely. The comment "I didn't know they let dogs into Tesco." is
not accurate when the orginal statement is "I was at Tesco ...". The
latter could be inside the store but equally outside, it is not
specific.

As for Seeing dogs, I have to assume that you are talking about dogs
that help those with impaired vision, at least you didn't refer to them
as "Blind" dogs.
In the UK we have Guide dogs for the blind,.

I sit corrected I thought they had been "rebranded" a number of years
ago.

We are both half wrong from their website "Guide Dogs is a working
name of The Guide Dogs for the Blind Association."
--
Cheers
Dave.

Why do the nit pickers enjoy spoiling a good thread ???

Bill

"Local hero" wrote in message
o.uk...
David Hill wrote:

I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM TESCO

Yesterday I was at my local Tesco store buying a large bag of My Dog
dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman
behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I
was starting the Dog Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 kilograms
before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of
my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled
with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the
dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff
an Irish Setter's bottom and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Tesco..

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in
the world to think of daft things to say.

Think I first saw that one about 15 years ago!

So What ???

Ah but the old ones are still the best !

Bill

On 08/09/2013 20:11, Bill Grey wrote:
Snipped
Well Bill,personally I care not how many spieling mistakes, grammatical
errors you made, the important thing for me was that you brightened up
my Monday morning, many thanks. I am feeling particularly p*ssed off as
out combi boiler has been broken for almost a week, so I am smelly and
my hair could be used to fry chips!

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the
olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a
pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot
slpeling was ipmorantt!


"Broadback" wrote in message ...

On 08/09/2013 20:11, Bill Grey wrote:
Snipped
Well Bill,personally I care not how many spieling mistakes, grammatical
errors you made, the important thing for me was that you brightened up
my Monday morning, many thanks. I am feeling particularly p*ssed off as
out combi boiler has been broken for almost a week, so I am smelly and
my hair could be used to fry chips!

On Mon, 09 Sep 2013 10:27:35 +0200, Martin wrote:

I didn't write what you attributed to me.

Count the 's. Only the lines with one are directly attributable to
the the person named at the top, as has been the case in usenet for
donkies years.

--
Cheers
Dave.

On Mon, 09 Sep 2013 08:38:29 +0100, Broadback wrote:

Well Bill,personally I care not how many spieling mistakes, grammatical
errors you made, the important thing for me was that you brightened up
my Monday morning, many thanks.

I almost suggested that if the story was true and recent he ought to
contact the tabloids and make a bob or two. B-)

I am feeling particularly p*ssed off as out combi boiler has been broken
for almost a week, so I am smelly and my hair could be used to fry
chips!

Oh dear, how sad. Can people not improvise thses days?

What's wrong with the wash basin/kitchen sink and kettle for hot
water? Or if the kettle is bust as well (implying no gas or
electricity supply, so pans no good either) the hose pipe filled with
water and laid out in the sun for a few hours, then drained into a
bucket to take indoors. That'll at least take the chill off it.

Finally cold water is just "bracing". B-)

--
Cheers
Dave.

On Sun, 08 Sep 2013 13:20:22 +0100, David Hill wrote:

In the UK we have Guide dogs for the blind,.

I sit corrected I thought they had been "rebranded" a number of
years
ago.

We are both half wrong from their website "Guide Dogs is a working
name of The Guide Dogs for the Blind Association."

I was talking about "Guide dogs for the blind" as being Guide dogs for
Blind people, though they are also used by people with restricted vision
as well as Blind .

Which is presumably why they have been rebranded as just "Guide
Dogs". There are also dogs that guide humans in other ways as well
not just those with restricted vision. The wording on signage that
prohibits dogs but allows "guide dogs" doesn't have "for the blind"
appended.

--
Cheers
Dave.

On 09/09/2013 10:03, Dave Liquorice wrote:
On Mon, 09 Sep 2013 08:38:29 +0100, Broadback wrote:

Well Bill,personally I care not how many spieling mistakes, grammatical
errors you made, the important thing for me was that you brightened up
my Monday morning, many thanks.

I almost suggested that if the story was true and recent he ought to
contact the tabloids and make a bob or two. B-)

I am feeling particularly p*ssed off as out combi boiler has been broken
for almost a week, so I am smelly and my hair could be used to fry
chips!

Oh dear, how sad. Can people not improvise thses days?

What's wrong with the wash basin/kitchen sink and kettle for hot
water? Or if the kettle is bust as well (implying no gas or
electricity supply, so pans no good either) the hose pipe filled with
water and laid out in the sun for a few hours, then drained into a
bucket to take indoors. That'll at least take the chill off it.

Finally cold water is just "bracing". B-)

That is exactly what we have to do. But sadly I threw out the tin bath a
couple of years back.

On 09/09/2013 10:13, Dave Liquorice wrote:
On Sun, 08 Sep 2013 13:20:22 +0100, David Hill wrote:

In the UK we have Guide dogs for the blind,.

I sit corrected I thought they had been "rebranded" a number of
years
ago.

We are both half wrong from their website "Guide Dogs is a working
name of The Guide Dogs for the Blind Association."

I was talking about "Guide dogs for the blind" as being Guide dogs for
Blind people, though they are also used by people with restricted vision
as well as Blind .

Which is presumably why they have been rebranded as just "Guide
Dogs". There are also dogs that guide humans in other ways as well
not just those with restricted vision. The wording on signage that
prohibits dogs but allows "guide dogs" doesn't have "for the blind"
appended.


These are referred to as assistance dogs and have come together as
Assistance Dogs (UK)
http://www.assistancedogs.org.uk/
Re the "Re-branding" of Guide dogs.
© The Guide Dogs for the Blind Association 2013.
Guide Dogs is a working name of The Guide Dogs for the Blind
Association. Registered Office: Hillfields, Burghfield Common, Reading,
Berkshire RG7 3YG. A company limited by guarantee registered in England
and Wales (291646) and a charity registered in England and Wales
(209617) and Scotland (SC038979)
Tel: 0118 983 5555 Email: Website:
www.guidedogs.org.uk