The first rainbow
Was not overlooked
Everyone came
From the overworld
From the underworld

From men's dreams and dead religions
To see, to rest on the bridge over the sky

But so many showed up
Every god and sprit in a million pantheons
The rainbow creaked and moaned
And when at last a mayfly settled on it
It was the last straw
And the humpback rainbow split!

Into a thousand shards of light
Into every color and shape

Raining on the earth
Like the tantrum of
Some mad impressionist
Many were lost

But some, the rare few
Clung to the trees
Found refuge in must
And nooks
And thrived

These are the orchids
A reminder to all

The beauty can only bear so much
Before it is vaporized

I thought the poem was good right up until the last 2 lines........they
ruined it completely.

But thanks for sharing......it was an interesting read.

"Susan Murray" wrote in message
om...
The first rainbow
Was not overlooked
Everyone came
From the overworld
From the underworld

From men's dreams and dead religions
To see, to rest on the bridge over the sky

But so many showed up
Every god and sprit in a million pantheons
The rainbow creaked and moaned
And when at last a mayfly settled on it
It was the last straw
And the humpback rainbow split!

Into a thousand shards of light
Into every color and shape

Raining on the earth
Like the tantrum of
Some mad impressionist
Many were lost

But some, the rare few
Clung to the trees
Found refuge in must
And nooks
And thrived

These are the orchids
A reminder to all

The beauty can only bear so much
Before it is vaporized

"Bolero" wrote in message . au...
I thought the poem was good right up until the last 2 lines........they
ruined it completely.

How so? What would you have said instead... or would you hav just ended it?



But thanks for sharing......it was an interesting read.


Thanks!

-Susan


"Susan Murray" wrote in message
om...
The first rainbow
Was not overlooked
Everyone came
From the overworld
From the underworld

From men's dreams and dead religions
To see, to rest on the bridge over the sky

But so many showed up
Every god and sprit in a million pantheons
The rainbow creaked and moaned
And when at last a mayfly settled on it
It was the last straw
And the humpback rainbow split!

Into a thousand shards of light
Into every color and shape

Raining on the earth
Like the tantrum of
Some mad impressionist
Many were lost

But some, the rare few
Clung to the trees
Found refuge in must
And nooks
And thrived

These are the orchids
A reminder to all

The beauty can only bear so much
Before it is vaporized

I might have just ended it I think.

I will consider it further and let you know.

"Susan Murray" wrote in message
om...
"Bolero" wrote in message
. au...
I thought the poem was good right up until the last 2 lines........they
ruined it completely.

How so? What would you have said instead... or would you hav just ended
it?



But thanks for sharing......it was an interesting read.


Thanks!

-Susan


"Susan Murray" wrote in message
om...
The first rainbow
Was not overlooked
Everyone came
From the overworld
From the underworld

From men's dreams and dead religions
To see, to rest on the bridge over the sky

But so many showed up
Every god and sprit in a million pantheons
The rainbow creaked and moaned
And when at last a mayfly settled on it
It was the last straw
And the humpback rainbow split!

Into a thousand shards of light
Into every color and shape

Raining on the earth
Like the tantrum of
Some mad impressionist
Many were lost

But some, the rare few
Clung to the trees
Found refuge in must
And nooks
And thrived

These are the orchids
A reminder to all

The beauty can only bear so much
Before it is vaporized

"Bolero" wrote in message . au...
I might have just ended it I think.


I'm starting to think you are right. I like it better without the last four lines.

-Susan








"Susan Murray" wrote in message
om...
"Bolero" wrote in message
. au...
I thought the poem was good right up until the last 2 lines........they
ruined it completely.

How so? What would you have said instead... or would you hav just ended
it?



But thanks for sharing......it was an interesting read.


Thanks!

-Susan


"Susan Murray" wrote in message
om...
The first rainbow
Was not overlooked
Everyone came
From the overworld
From the underworld

From men's dreams and dead religions
To see, to rest on the bridge over the sky

But so many showed up
Every god and sprit in a million pantheons
The rainbow creaked and moaned
And when at last a mayfly settled on it
It was the last straw
And the humpback rainbow split!

Into a thousand shards of light
Into every color and shape

Raining on the earth
Like the tantrum of
Some mad impressionist
Many were lost

But some, the rare few
Clung to the trees
Found refuge in must
And nooks
And thrived

These are the orchids
A reminder to all

The beauty can only bear so much
Before it is vaporized

Well, I wasn't going to say anything initially. I didn't want to insult
anyone and I was trying to put it as best I could without hurting your
feelings.

I really think it's better without those lines but it's up to you. You
wrote it about the way you feel.

I think it's a great effort.


"Susan Murray" wrote in message
om...
"Bolero" wrote in message
. au...
I might have just ended it I think.


I'm starting to think you are right. I like it better without the last
four lines.

-Susan








"Susan Murray" wrote in message
om...
"Bolero" wrote in message
. au...
I thought the poem was good right up until the last 2
lines........they
ruined it completely.

How so? What would you have said instead... or would you hav just
ended
it?



But thanks for sharing......it was an interesting read.


Thanks!

-Susan


"Susan Murray" wrote in message
om...
The first rainbow
Was not overlooked
Everyone came
From the overworld
From the underworld

From men's dreams and dead religions
To see, to rest on the bridge over the sky

But so many showed up
Every god and sprit in a million pantheons
The rainbow creaked and moaned
And when at last a mayfly settled on it
It was the last straw
And the humpback rainbow split!

Into a thousand shards of light
Into every color and shape

Raining on the earth
Like the tantrum of
Some mad impressionist
Many were lost

But some, the rare few
Clung to the trees
Found refuge in must
And nooks
And thrived

These are the orchids
A reminder to all

The beauty can only bear so much
Before it is vaporized

(Susan Murray) wrote in message . com...
The first rainbow
Was not overlooked
Everyone came
From the overworld
From the underworld

From men's dreams and dead religions
To see, to rest on the bridge over the sky

But so many showed up
Every god and sprit in a million pantheons
The rainbow creaked and moaned
And when at last a mayfly settled on it
It was the last straw
And the humpback rainbow split!

Into a thousand shards of light
Into every color and shape

Raining on the earth
Like the tantrum of
Some mad impressionist
Many were lost

But some, the rare few
Clung to the trees
Found refuge in must
And nooks
And thrived

These are the orchids
A reminder to all

The beauty can only bear so much
Before it is vaporized

"Raining on the earth like the tantrum of some mad impressionist."

That has to be one of the best lines I've read in a good while. You kick ass, Susan.