From www.theonion.com. Actually, from their 2005 desk calendar. Be glad
you're a gardener. :-)

Genetically Modified Broccoli Shrieks Benefits at Shoppers

Bremerton, WA - A head of genetically modified broccoli shrieked its
numerous benefits at shoppers Monday in a Seattle-area Safeway. "I contain
40 percent more vitamin A than non-modified broccoli!", the head screeched
at terrified produce aisle customers. "I can fight off insects and disease
without the use of pesticides!" Monsanto, which produced the vegetable,
stressed that genetic-modification technology is still in its infancy, and
that more pleasantly voiced broccoli should hit store shelves fairly soon.

Doug Kanter wrote:
From www.theonion.com. Actually, from their 2005 desk calendar. Be glad
you're a gardener. :-)

Genetically Modified Broccoli Shrieks Benefits at Shoppers

Bremerton, WA - A head of genetically modified broccoli shrieked its
numerous benefits at shoppers Monday in a Seattle-area Safeway. "I contain
40 percent more vitamin A than non-modified broccoli!", the head screeched
at terrified produce aisle customers. "I can fight off insects and disease
without the use of pesticides!" Monsanto, which produced the vegetable,
stressed that genetic-modification technology is still in its infancy, and
that more pleasantly voiced broccoli should hit store shelves fairly soon.


Whenever I talk with the hysterical people this article is lampooing, my
standard line is...

All varieties of food crops are genetically modified. Just what the heck
do you think 'plant breeding' is, anyway? At least the people doing it
have a better idea of exactly what happened, unlike pre-recombninant
methods.

"John Thomas" wrote in message ...
Doug Kanter wrote:
From www.theonion.com. Actually, from their 2005 desk calendar. Be glad
you're a gardener. :-)

Genetically Modified Broccoli Shrieks Benefits at Shoppers

Bremerton, WA - A head of genetically modified broccoli shrieked its
numerous benefits at shoppers Monday in a Seattle-area Safeway. "I
contain 40 percent more vitamin A than non-modified broccoli!", the head
screeched at terrified produce aisle customers. "I can fight off insects
and disease without the use of pesticides!" Monsanto, which produced the
vegetable, stressed that genetic-modification technology is still in its
infancy, and that more pleasantly voiced broccoli should hit store
shelves fairly soon.

Whenever I talk with the hysterical people this article is lampooing, my
standard line is...

All varieties of food crops are genetically modified. Just what the heck
do you think 'plant breeding' is, anyway? At least the people doing it
have a better idea of exactly what happened, unlike pre-recombninant
methods.

I saw the thing I posted as a lampoon of the manufacturer, which is
precisely what Monsanto is. You might want to read a bit more before being
so sure about "the people doing it". A book called "The Botany of Desire"
would be a good start. Easy reading, very informative.

Doug Kanter wrote:
From www.theonion.com. Actually, from their 2005 desk calendar. Be
glad you're a gardener. :-)

Genetically Modified Broccoli Shrieks Benefits at Shoppers

Bremerton, WA - A head of genetically modified broccoli shrieked its
numerous benefits at shoppers Monday in a Seattle-area Safeway. "I
contain 40 percent more vitamin A than non-modified broccoli!", the
head screeched at terrified produce aisle customers. "I can fight
off insects and disease without the use of pesticides!" Monsanto,
which produced the vegetable, stressed that genetic-modification
technology is still in its infancy, and that more pleasantly voiced
broccoli should hit store shelves fairly soon.

Bremerton is not considered to be in the Seattle area.

--

Travis in Shoreline (just North of Seattle) Washington
USDA Zone 8
Sunset Zone 5

Travis wrote:
Bremerton is not considered to be in the Seattle area.

When you live on the East Coast, Spokane is in the Seattle area. It's all a
matter of perspective.

--
Warren H.

==========
Disclaimer: My views reflect those of myself, and not my
employer, my friends, nor (as she often tells me) my wife.
Any resemblance to the views of anybody living or dead is
coincidental. No animals were hurt in the writing of this
response -- unless you count my dog who desperately wants
to go outside now.
Care for your landscape with Black and Decker cordless tools
http://www.holzemville.com/mall/blac...ker/index.html

"Travis" wrote in message
news:ImX8e.9608$c93.8895@trnddc08...
Doug Kanter wrote:
From www.theonion.com. Actually, from their 2005 desk calendar. Be
glad you're a gardener. :-)

Genetically Modified Broccoli Shrieks Benefits at Shoppers

Bremerton, WA - A head of genetically modified broccoli shrieked its
numerous benefits at shoppers Monday in a Seattle-area Safeway. "I
contain 40 percent more vitamin A than non-modified broccoli!", the
head screeched at terrified produce aisle customers. "I can fight
off insects and disease without the use of pesticides!" Monsanto,
which produced the vegetable, stressed that genetic-modification
technology is still in its infancy, and that more pleasantly voiced
broccoli should hit store shelves fairly soon.

Bremerton is not considered to be in the Seattle area.

It's "The Onion". Don't take it TOO seriously. Today, on their web site,
they ran an article announcing the French's was coming out with disinfectant
mustard. :-)

John Thomas wrote in :

Doug Kanter wrote:
From www.theonion.com. Actually, from their 2005 desk calendar. Be
glad you're a gardener. :-)

Genetically Modified Broccoli Shrieks Benefits at Shoppers

Bremerton, WA - A head of genetically modified broccoli shrieked its
numerous benefits at shoppers Monday in a Seattle-area Safeway. "I
contain 40 percent more vitamin A than non-modified broccoli!", the
head screeched at terrified produce aisle customers. "I can fight off
insects and disease without the use of pesticides!" Monsanto, which
produced the vegetable, stressed that genetic-modification technology
is still in its infancy, and that more pleasantly voiced broccoli
should hit store shelves fairly soon.


Whenever I talk with the hysterical people this article is lampooing,
my standard line is...

All varieties of food crops are genetically modified. Just what the
heck do you think 'plant breeding' is, anyway? At least the people
doing it have a better idea of exactly what happened, unlike
pre-recombninant methods.

Uh huh, sure. Once upon a time there were three little piggies. Each
one owned a house and each house was different, but since they were all
called houses, that made them the same. No one knows what happened to
the piggies because everyone was at the wolf's home having a barbeque.
Some guests got food poisoning but nobody ever said anything.

some ignorant poster wrote:

I saw the thing I posted as a lampoon of the manufacturer, which is
precisely what Monsanto is. You might want to read a bit more before being
so sure about "the people doing it". A book called "The Botany of Desire"
would be a good start. Easy reading, very informative.


Read? I've been working in this for over 20 years. With a PhD in a
related field, I just might know what the hell I'm talking about, even
more so than your average poster here. Just maybe.

If you want a good popular writer on the topic, try Peter Raven instead.

"John Thomas" wrote in message ...
some ignorant poster wrote:

I saw the thing I posted as a lampoon of the manufacturer, which is
precisely what Monsanto is. You might want to read a bit more before
being so sure about "the people doing it". A book called "The Botany of
Desire" would be a good start. Easy reading, very informative.
Read? I've been working in this for over 20 years. With a PhD in a related
field, I just might know what the hell I'm talking about, even more so
than your average poster here. Just maybe.

If you want a good popular writer on the topic, try Peter Raven instead.

I propose, then, that you are too close to "the field" to see the simple
logic you missed in this paragraph, written by you earlier:

"All varieties of food crops are genetically modified. Just what the heck
do you think 'plant breeding' is, anyway? At least the people doing it
have a better idea of exactly what happened, unlike pre-recombninant
methods."

Get back to me tomorrow after you've thought about it a bit, and I'll
straighten you out. It involves a factor you cannot deal with in a
scientific fashion.

John Thomas expounded:

All varieties of food crops are genetically modified. Just what the heck
do you think 'plant breeding' is, anyway? At least the people doing it
have a better idea of exactly what happened, unlike pre-recombninant
methods.

Inserting monkey DNA into green beans is a bit different than simple
hybridizing (anyone with your level of education should know that).
--
Ann, gardening in Zone 6a
South of Boston, Massachusetts
e-mail address is not checked
******************************

In article John Thomas , wrote:

some ignorant poster wrote:

I saw the thing I posted as a lampoon of the manufacturer, which is
precisely what Monsanto is. You might want to read a bit more before being
so sure about "the people doing it". A book called "The Botany of Desire"
would be a good start. Easy reading, very informative.


Read? I've been working in this for over 20 years. With a PhD in a
related field, I just might know what the hell I'm talking about, even
more so than your average poster here. Just maybe.

"Just maybes" are loads of fun!

Just maybe you're the King of Mars, since any claim of ultra-genius
super-expertise self-importance attested tp on UseNet is about that easy
to trump up.
Just maybe your "related field" is bean-counting for Monsanto.
Just maybe you're a vested propogandist, since Monsanto has instructed
even its employees from the janitors on down to get on board & muddle &
muddy any intelligent conversation they might not like when it crops up in
public discussions.
Just maybe several people 'round here are EASILY as intelligent as
yourself & just as capable of understanding issues, even though you as the
King of Mars personally do not think so.

If you want a good popular writer on the topic, try Peter Raven instead.

Citing Peter Raven as your best-beloved commentator in love with Monsanto
is like citing Moussalini as your ideal expert on world leadership. He's
the "environmentalist" who persistently assaults environmental
organizations. His wife (now ex-wife, ha on him) was the Monsanto Director
of Public Policy, so the joke runs that even Peter Raven's sex-life is
corporate sponsored.

Raven is pleased to boast "There is nothing I'm condemning Monsanto for."
Nothing -- they're flawless at all times in all ways, they have never made
a single error ever & never will. Not agent orange, not cover-ups of toxic
spills that got them dragged into Federal court to lose big-time, not the
world-devastating plan to "own" living germplasm so they can license the
right of the world to even eat.

Monsanto is God's Good Heaven where Raven's concerned, so who better to
take over control of our access to basic foods. No problems are fathomable
from Monsanto developing indentured "customers" for sterile crops not to
mention that said foods are developed not for flavor of nutrition but to
be able to thrive in chemical soups. Well, if we'd only be smart enough to
let Monsanto develop toxin-tolerant human beings to match their products
we'd be in like flint,

No, nothing Monsanto has ever done in the past or is doing now will Raven
ever even for a half-second find less than utopian perfection. They are
above criticism. And being so, their next Agent Orange WILL reach our
dinner tables without even momentary critical thinking about the
repurcussions.

It's no joke, either, that Raven promotes Monsanto as God's Good Heaven.
He is a die-hard Catholic & a major force in the Vatican's Pontifical
Academy of Sciences, through which he has promoted GMO & Monsanto at
Vatican-sponsored seminars as saviors of mankind, as "Elpis" or what can
be found in the Christian Gospels as "Hope." Without Monsanto there is no
Hope, according to this religious crackpot propogandist whose corporate
sponsors made him a millionaire, gave him a wife, & continue to fund all
his pet projects.

And you better believe wholehearted corporate propogandizing has been
profitable for Peter Raven. In exchange for his unwavering praise for
Monsanto, Monsanto has become the primary donor to the Missouri Botanical
Garden, the garden which is Monsanto's primary "bioprospector" since Raven
became its Director. At last count three Monsanto bigwigs are Garden
trustees & every decision made at the Garden is weighed against Monsanto's
corporate interests.

The Garden's multi-million-dollar research center is called, ta-da, The
Monsanto Center, where the development of toxin-tolerant GM foods is high
on their agenda. Vested interests? "Just maybe." So thanks, Mr Thomas, for
clarifying that a straight-head Monsanto propogandist who has scored
millions upon millions of dollars specifically as a propogandist IS your
idea of the ideal authority! It puts your own claim to King of Mars
Smarter Than All Usenet expertise in perspective.

-paghat the ratgirl
--
Get your Paghat the Ratgirl T-Shirt he
http://www.paghat.com/giftshop.html
"History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden
people maintaining a free civil government." -Thomas Jefferson

paghat wrote:
In article John Thomas , wrote:


some ignorant poster wrote:

I saw the thing I posted as a lampoon of the manufacturer, which is
precisely what Monsanto is. You might want to read a bit more before being
so sure about "the people doing it". A book called "The Botany of Desire"
would be a good start. Easy reading, very informative.



Read? I've been working in this for over 20 years. With a PhD in a
related field, I just might know what the hell I'm talking about, even
more so than your average poster here. Just maybe.


"Just maybes" are loads of fun!

Just maybe you're the King of Mars, since any claim of ultra-genius
super-expertise self-importance attested tp on UseNet is about that easy
to trump up.
Just maybe your "related field" is bean-counting for Monsanto.
Just maybe you're a vested propogandist, since Monsanto has instructed
even its employees from the janitors on down to get on board & muddle &
muddy any intelligent conversation they might not like when it crops up in
public discussions.
Just maybe several people 'round here are EASILY as intelligent as
yourself & just as capable of understanding issues, even though you as the
King of Mars personally do not think so.


If you want a good popular writer on the topic, try Peter Raven instead.


Citing Peter Raven as your best-beloved commentator in love with Monsanto
is like citing Moussalini as your ideal expert on world leadership. He's
the "environmentalist" who persistently assaults environmental
organizations. His wife (now ex-wife, ha on him) was the Monsanto Director
of Public Policy, so the joke runs that even Peter Raven's sex-life is
corporate sponsored.

Raven is pleased to boast "There is nothing I'm condemning Monsanto for."
Nothing -- they're flawless at all times in all ways, they have never made
a single error ever & never will. Not agent orange, not cover-ups of toxic
spills that got them dragged into Federal court to lose big-time, not the
world-devastating plan to "own" living germplasm so they can license the
right of the world to even eat.

Monsanto is God's Good Heaven where Raven's concerned, so who better to
take over control of our access to basic foods. No problems are fathomable
from Monsanto developing indentured "customers" for sterile crops not to
mention that said foods are developed not for flavor of nutrition but to
be able to thrive in chemical soups. Well, if we'd only be smart enough to
let Monsanto develop toxin-tolerant human beings to match their products
we'd be in like flint,

No, nothing Monsanto has ever done in the past or is doing now will Raven
ever even for a half-second find less than utopian perfection. They are
above criticism. And being so, their next Agent Orange WILL reach our
dinner tables without even momentary critical thinking about the
repurcussions.

It's no joke, either, that Raven promotes Monsanto as God's Good Heaven.
He is a die-hard Catholic & a major force in the Vatican's Pontifical
Academy of Sciences, through which he has promoted GMO & Monsanto at
Vatican-sponsored seminars as saviors of mankind, as "Elpis" or what can
be found in the Christian Gospels as "Hope." Without Monsanto there is no
Hope, according to this religious crackpot propogandist whose corporate
sponsors made him a millionaire, gave him a wife, & continue to fund all
his pet projects.

And you better believe wholehearted corporate propogandizing has been
profitable for Peter Raven. In exchange for his unwavering praise for
Monsanto, Monsanto has become the primary donor to the Missouri Botanical
Garden, the garden which is Monsanto's primary "bioprospector" since Raven
became its Director. At last count three Monsanto bigwigs are Garden
trustees & every decision made at the Garden is weighed against Monsanto's
corporate interests.

The Garden's multi-million-dollar research center is called, ta-da, The
Monsanto Center, where the development of toxin-tolerant GM foods is high
on their agenda. Vested interests? "Just maybe." So thanks, Mr Thomas, for
clarifying that a straight-head Monsanto propogandist who has scored
millions upon millions of dollars specifically as a propogandist IS your
idea of the ideal authority! It puts your own claim to King of Mars
Smarter Than All Usenet expertise in perspective.

-paghat the ratgirl

Gosh, got a mojo for Monsanto, by any chance? If collective thought is
so great, that means Bush must be right in whatever he does too, since
he just won the popular election last year. You must be in heaven with
his policies :-)

P.S. Did you know Monsanto is broadcasting thoughts from the orbital
mind control satelites? Better get on that, too!

Thanks for perfectly illustrating the point I was trying to make in my
original post. Raven has done more for preserving diversity than a
million bedwetting so called environmentalists who think the solution to
every problem is imposing their views on poor rural people, while they
commute in SUV's, overconsume, and work as hard as they can to alienate
the very people who are in a position to solve problems.

"John Thomas" wrote in message ...
Whenever I talk with the hysterical people this article is lampooing, my
standard line is...

All varieties of food crops are genetically modified. Just what the heck
do you think 'plant breeding' is, anyway? At least the people doing it
have a better idea of exactly what happened, unlike pre-recombninant
methods.

I don't think most people have a problem with the use of genetic
modification if they used dna already present in that particular species
genome. That's the just producing a hybrid with hopefully less trial and
error. However I do have a problem with using dna from an entirely different
species to produce something that wasn't naturally possible.

For example tomatoes have been made frost resistant by splicing in a gene
from a flounder that makes some sort of "antifreeze". Other things that
concern me, is plants like maize/corn have been modified to the point where
some variations are inedible by humans and others are outright toxic for
human consumption. With the thousands of tons of corn produced every year
around the world, it's not difficult for containers to get swapped and turn
pharmaceutical corn into corn syrup.

Even with buffer zones, accidents are going to happen.

-S

"Snooze" wrote in message
. ..
"John Thomas" wrote in message ...
Whenever I talk with the hysterical people this article is lampooing, my
standard line is...

All varieties of food crops are genetically modified. Just what the heck
do you think 'plant breeding' is, anyway? At least the people doing it
have a better idea of exactly what happened, unlike pre-recombninant
methods.

I don't think most people have a problem with the use of genetic
modification if they used dna already present in that particular species
genome. That's the just producing a hybrid with hopefully less trial and
error. However I do have a problem with using dna from an entirely
different species to produce something that wasn't naturally possible.

For example tomatoes have been made frost resistant by splicing in a gene
from a flounder that makes some sort of "antifreeze". Other things that
concern me, is plants like maize/corn have been modified to the point
where some variations are inedible by humans and others are outright toxic
for human consumption. With the thousands of tons of corn produced every
year around the world, it's not difficult for containers to get swapped
and turn pharmaceutical corn into corn syrup.

Even with buffer zones, accidents are going to happen.

How can accidents be a bad thing as long as money is made?

"John Thomas" wrote in message ...


Gosh, got a mojo for Monsanto, by any chance? If collective thought is so
great, that means Bush must be right in whatever he does too, since he
just won the popular election last year. You must be in heaven with his
policies :-)

P.S. Did you know Monsanto is broadcasting thoughts from the orbital mind
control satelites? Better get on that, too!

Thanks for perfectly illustrating the point I was trying to make in my
original post. Raven has done more for preserving diversity than a million
bedwetting so called environmentalists who think the solution to every
problem is imposing their views on poor rural people, while they commute
in SUV's, overconsume, and work as hard as they can to alienate the very
people who are in a position to solve problems.

So, you don't understand why the forces which keep traditional hybrids
within bounds are short circuited by Monsanto's methods? This is a yes or no
question. Yes, you do understand. No, you do not. Yes or no.